Tea Party
by Evil-Ekat
Summary: Today was just not Bill Cipher's day. What started out as another ploy for revenge had somehow landed him stuck in the middle of playing tea-party along with a slightly insane Shooting Star, along with her brother, a pig, and a stuffed bear-puppet he swore was out to get him. Wait. Did it just move! Yes, today was most definitely not his day. No pairings, implied Stan Twin theory.


**Now, I love Mabel, but I felt she needed a super crazy side. AS a girl, you know what I'm talking about. This story was born after I woke up extra early for no apparent reason and was overcome with the urge to play tea party. Which as a teenage girl, found weird. Which was why at 5:30 in the morning my step-dad found me serving tea to Mrs. Raccoon, my (ingeniously named) toy raccoon. And so, it inspired this story.**

**Also, a hint of erhmegerd Stan had a twin! In it, with of course my favourite twin candidate taking that role very actively.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gravity Falls**

* * *

It was just your average day in Gravity Falls. Stan was just secretly building a gateway to unimaginable power in the Mystery Shack's sub-basement, while in the gift shop, Wendy and Soos were attempting to hide all of the glass objects they had broken. Wax Larry King's head was watching the pair in amusement from the vents, that was until a rat stole his one remaining ear. But the decapitated wax head was not the only thing watching. Dipper and Mabel were in the attic, and a very evil and psychotic dream-demon named Bill was of course, watching.

What he was watching at the current time was not important, because he had chosen that exact moment to pay a surprise visit to the Pines Twins.

"I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! And this time you shall not escape your doom-"

His evil revenge speech was stopped abruptly as Mabel cut in;

"Yes! You're the last person I needed!"

"You dare interrupt me?! The-"

"Stop yelling! Don't you know it's rude to yell at a tea party?"

He gave her a curious look. Rather than the expected scream and running away, she was going on about a tea party?! Now, taking in his full surroundings, he saw he was in the Mystery Shack attic, where the two beds had mysteriously disappeared and were now replaced with a table and multiple little chairs. Multiple tea cups were strewn across the table along with saucers and a tea pot so cracked it was a wonder it hadn't shattered into dust yet. At the small chairs, a few of her stuffed animals, her pig, and a miserable looking Dipper sat with his knees bent over because of the short height of the chair.

Turning his attention back to the girl he continued;

"Like I was saying I've come to get my reveng-"

"You can't wear that top hat in here!" She interrupted again, oblivious to his building rage. "There's a dress code you know!"

"Wait? What?"

"We. Are. Play-ing. Tea. Party." She explained slowly.

"Whoa, where'd the _we_ come from? There is no _we_ in this! It's just _you_ and _your_ brother and _that_ pig! Immortal demons most certainly do not, play tea party, let alone with their soon-to be destroyed nemesis!"

He slowly began to inch his way to the door, maybe he'd have better luck taking his revenge out on Stanford first. Mabel's expression darkened to an unfamiliar tone, one more sinister and demonic than the usual cute and innocent one she wore. The demon swore he could see flames form around her as she snarled;

"You will play. Or else."

He broke out into a full out lunge for the door, but before he could escape Mabel snatched his hat.

"My hat! Give it back! I'm already short enough with it!"

"Then play."

"All right, all right! I'll play with you! Now give me back my hat!"

Instantly, she brightened again. Curiously looking at the 2-D hat, she placed it behind her.

"You still can't wear it! It's against the dress code!"

"Dress code? Tea parties are formal! You can't get much more formal than a top hat!"

"But Dipper's already wearing one." She explained, pointing over to her brother.

In addition to the three sizes too large suit that looked similar to Stan's in style, he was wearing a familiar black silk top hat with a yellow band around the base that completely covered his eyes and part of his nose. For the second time that day, the demon wanted to call out _"My hat!"_

"Where did you find that hat?" He asked through gritted teeth.

"Well-" Mabel began.

* * *

_**Earlier that same day...**_

Mabel was sorting through all of the stuff in Soos' break room,

"Jar of eye balls, taxidermied fish-boy, suit-case full of old-time-y time clothes..."

She stopped her sorting and grinned. This would be absolutely perfect for extreme make overs and tea parties. Now how would she get Stan to let her keep it?

"Grunkle Stan, don't say anything if I can keep this trunk full of old clothes." She whispered.

There was no reply.

"Are you sure? Don't say anything if you're sure." Mabel whispered again.

There was still no reply.

Just then, Stan walked into the room.

"Hey kidd-o what have you got there?"

"Oh nothing!"

* * *

Wow. Maybe he could learn a thing or to from that kid about stretching the truth. His sense of admiration instantly disappeared as a ridiculously large pink and feathery hat was placed on his head.

"Oh no. I absolutely refuse to wear this hat!" he said, crossing his arms, "What are we even playing again?"

"Tea party."

"Like the one from Alice and Wonderland?"

"Nope."

"As in a re-enactment of the Boston Tea Party?" He asked faintly.

"Nope. Regular tea party."

"Absolutely not! I can't condescend to playing _tea-party_!" He spat.

Mabel's expression turned dark once more and he swore it began to rain outside.

"Ok! I'll play!"

She brightened again and turned to leave the room.

"I'm going to get the tea!" She said cheerily, "Now make conversation. Or else."

* * *

The demon took one of her stuffed animals, a stuffed bear puppet that was falling to pieces, quite horrifying really, and placed it on the ground, taking it's spot. he sat next to Dipper, who in turn had Waddles next to him. Out of the three boys, Waddles seemed to be enjoying himself the most. The small pig was wearing a curly blonde wig with a skirt wrapped around in in a make-shift dress, and he was eating the cookies Mabel had put on the table.

"So..."

"So..." Dipper replied

"So..."

"You know, it might just be this hat messing with me, but for a second I thought you were Bill Cipher."

"That's because I am."

"Oh." The boy didn't seem staled by the fact, and he felt his ego being bruised again.

"What? No running away? No screaming? No pitiful last words?!" He asked annoyed.

"Mabel's wrath is scarier."

"How can you possibly be scared of the wrath of your twin sister?"

"Well you're playing along too!" He defended, "and you're supposed to be all-mighty. You're even wearing the girly hat of shame!"

"Give me that!" He hissed, snatching the top hat away from the boy and giving him the girly one.

"I don't hear conversation!" Mabel called up the stairs. Both shivered and attempted to continue the conversation."Dipper just talk about the wedding party!"

"Wedding party?"

"I got married to a pig!" He groaned at the reminder. "I can't believe I got married to a pig!"

"You. And the pig?" He asked, pointing to Waddles. At the mention of the word pig, Waddles gave an "oink" as if to confirm the statement.

"How was I supposed to know she became a certified priest online?!"

"You're not serious."

Exasperatedly, he pulled out two certificates from the too big jacket. Bill looked over the one for marriage. It was air-tight with absolutely no loop-holes in it. He couldn't help but feel a little amazed at the girls contract writing skills.

"Why didn't you just burn it?"

"It's fire-proof." He moaned, placing his head on the table.

"We'll see about that." With a snap of his fingers the paper was engulfed in blue flames and within a matter of seconds, reduced to ash. For extra measure, he burned the one that certified Mabel as a priest.

Dipper looked up at the pile of ash that were once the certificates.

"I'm free!" He said, jumping up from his spot, only to trip over the long pant-legs of the suit.

They both sat in silence again, unsure of what to do.

"I don't hear you guys talking!" Mabel announced.

"So..."

"So..."

"Yup..."

"Yea..."

"Pretty much..."

"Yea..."

"Be more social!"

"So... You're all knowing... What's that like?"

"Well, you know... Yea..."

"Yup..."

"How's school?"

"It's the middle of summer Bill."

"Right..."

"Yea..."

"Just sitting here..."

"Because a crazy little girl is forcing us to play tea party..."

"Yup..."

"Yea..."

"By chance is that stuffed bear-puppet possessed?" Bill asked, casting a strange look at the horrifying puppet.

"Bear-o? Mabel denies that he's evil, but I'm not so sure."

"It's actually called Bear-o?"

"Yes."

"Is it just me, or is it following my every movement?"

"It's not just you."

"Horrifying."

The bear-puppet, or "buppet" as Mabel called it was sitting facing Bill, and a strange feeling over came him. The look the demonic puppet was giving him suggested it was mad he had stolen the spot at the tea-party. He blinked, rubbing his eye, and he swore it had moved a little closer to him.

"Let me guess, you saw it move too?"

"Yes."

Both shivered and looked away from the toy.

"Umm, let's change the topic." The demon suggested.

"Hmmm. You know, that hat you're wearing has the name _Stanley Pines_ in it, when I asked Grunkle Stan who he was I just got smacked in the face with his newspaper. Did you know who Stanley was by any chance?" Dipper asked.

If he could, the demon would have paled. He began to stutter, "W-well, you see umm-"

Just then, Mabel walked back into the room.

* * *

"I'm here with the tea!" She announced unnessicarily.

She placed the cups down on the table. Bill swore he saw Bear-o glare at him as the cup that would have been for the puppet wad placed in front of him.

Picking up the cup he asked, "So, what kind of tea is this?"

"It's Smile Dip boiled in water."

Instantly Dipper spat out the tea he had in his mouth in a sparkly fountain of pink.

"You did what?!" He asked, "Mabel that stuff was banned in America for a reason!"

"That's why I had to go all the way down to the haunted convenience store to get some."

"You know that stuff creates vivid hallucinations right?" The demon asked.

"So? Why? Do you-"

Dipper's eyes widened in horror, knowing what she was going to do next. Quickly, he closed his eyes and put his hands over his ears. He managed to warn Bill "Don't look directly into her eyes!" Before Mabel broke out into dramatic sobs.

"D-do you n-not l-like it?" She asked sadly, fake tears streaming down her face.

Bill sat unfazed by the tears.

"No. It's horrible." He said bluntly,

Dipper was able to guess what the demon had said from the scream that erupted from the girl. Her fake crying was becoming more convincing by the minute, but it didn't bother him, it took more than puppy eyes to make him give up.

"Jeeze, ok, ok! I'm sorry! I'm sorry your slightly illegal tea is not fit for consumption! Now can you stop crying please?! I just want to get my revenge!"

So much for the puppy eyes not working on him. Instantly, she stopped crying. But Mabel wasn't smiling, her expression was darkening again.

"You snuck into _my_ tea-party just so _you_ could get _your_ revenge?!" She shrieked.

"Are you absolutely insane?! You forced me to do this!"

"Get out! Get out! Get out!" She snarled, throwing the remaining tea at him along with the remaining dishes.

Panicking, he teleported back to the dreamscape. Only too late did he realize he had left his hat, and instead brought along Dipper.

Rubbing his eyes Dipper managed to say;

"I'm too tired for this, can you just get your revenge later?" The boy asked yawning.

"Pine tree, Today I was brought down on my non-existent knees by the most innocent and cheerful person to ever exist, and instead of all the horrible things she could have done to me, I was forced to play tea-party. I need time to stare at a wall and re-think everything. How your sister was able to do this, I'm unsure, but I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the Pines tree. Hah, get it? Pines?"

Dipper just rolled his eyes at the terrible joke.

"Anyways, I don't think I'll be able to get my hat back any time soon. So if you get the chance, could you give it to your uncle and tell him to keep an eye on his great-niece so she doesn't turn out like Stanley, that would be great."

"Umm sure."

"Well then, I'll send you on your way."

_"Way..."_

_"Way..."_

_"Way.."_

* * *

_**Eplilouge**_

When he got the chance, Dipper did get the hat. Then he found Stan, who was sitting in his arm chair, un-known to Dipper, looking at a pair of familiar glasses.

"Grunkle Stan?" he asked.

Quickly fumbling with the glasses before tucking them away in his jacket he replied;

"What?"

"Ummm, some one in the shop gave me this hat," He lied, "And told me to tell you, to keep an eye on Mabel so she wouldn't end up like Stanley?" He finished in a question, wondering what it could possibly mean.

A brief flash of something crossed over the old man's face before he took the hat away from the boy.

"How many times have I told you not to let crazy people into the gift shop unless they're buying?"

"None actually."

"Well you should know. Go, rake the leaves or something."

Dipper raised his hands in surrender.

"I'm going, I'm going."

He watched him until the boy had walked out the front door before whispering sadly;

"Yea, you do that. Just like Stanley."


End file.
